Why Change isn’t so Bad After all
I’m not very good with change. As anyone who knows me will testify, I like my routines, I like the familiar, and I like doing the same things. When I find something that works I like to stick to it. It has its drawbacks though, and I’m beginning to realise, as I get older, that change isn’t so bad really, and new things are exciting too.
Unfortunately, my fear of the unknown kept me in a job I had outgrown for over a year. I had been working as a special needs TA for four years. I wanted to leave but was scared of the unfamiliar. The prospect of having to start again at the beginning with new colleagues (it takes me ages to let people get to know me well and I got on well with the current bunch), of having to prove myself to a new boss, kept me from successfully finding something new and broadening my horizons, from applying to the jobs I really wanted. I was fearful of rejection too.
Finally, when I could take no more of the utter boredom and lack of intellectual stimulation I was getting from work, when I couldn’t take being unchallenged and unstimulated, when I had had enough of watching other people do a bad job of things I could have done far better, I took a brave bold leap and handed in my resignation. In was a big step, going into the unknown, but I knew what I wanted to do. I wanted to teach, to be up at the front of the classroom enthusing the children, instead of being stuck at the back assisting.
I’m now in my third week of working as a supply teacher, and absolutely loving it! I don’t know why I didn’t do this sooner, but I am so glad I took that bold leap into the unknown and changed jobs. I have worked pretty much every day at a different school, I get to meet 30 new children every morning and spend the day with them, doing anything from maths, science and literacy to P.E, art, DT and music. I could be in with any class from the 4 year olds to the 11 year olds. It’s brilliant! I remember now why I qualified to be a teacher in the first place, and even though I have more pressure, leave the house earlier and generally get home later, wake up most mornings waiting for a phone call to tell me where to go, even though every single day is different, I am far less stressed than I was over the last year at my old job. I have realised that it is not the change itself that I am fearful of, it is the thought of change.
Funnily enough, the fact that my job now involves change every single day, a new class, a new school, a different age group, different colleagues and timetables and plans, and everything else those things can throw up at you, I am not scared. I am excited, challenged, stimulated, and rising to the challenge, doing a good job in the process.
So here’s to change, and all the possibilities it can bring! If you too are stuck in a rut but fearful of the unknown, take that leap of faith into the unknown, you are stronger than you think. Change isn’t so bad after all.
Changing jobs not only left me less stressed and more happy and fulfilled, somehow I also have more energy and time for other things now too. I get to work at The Beaderie for a few hours a week, hanging out with lovely beads and lovely people, and I have had a spring clean of the house, sorted out cupboards that I had been meaning to sort out for years, given my kitchen the scrub of its life, and somehow am keeping on top of housework far more than I ever did before. I fully expect this not to last, but while it does I am really enjoying it!
I have recently found some brilliant bargains in charity shops that I need to share here too, they have made me very happy indeed and go really well in my newly scrubbed clean and organised kitchen.
If you are interested, the recipe for this red velvet cheesecake can be found here at Willow Bird Baking.
I have also recently discovered washi tape, which is just fancy pattered sellotape, and decorated my kitchen shelf with some pretty patterned tape. Now, what else can I stick it to?…